U Can't Touch This

Food... As you all know from my previous post about "If I were you, I'd wanna be me too" I love food... but I also love my health. That is why when I was told I have Celiac Disease (especially after being told I have an allergy to rice) I was devastated!😫 Silly right?! Of course, at the time I did not think it was silly at all. My first reaction upon waking up from an endoscopy and being told "You have Celiac Disease," was "😭 But I'm allergic to rice!!! What the heck am I supposed to eat!??!.... No bread, no pies, no cakes ( I don't even like cake... but it was the point of the matter😂)". 

   The doctors were all very kind and found some information for me about eating gluten free with a rice allergy, but they left me with just that... "stop eating gluten" was my treatment for the disease. Boy was I in for a huge surprise! For those of you who struggle (or those of you that have embraced the disease as I am still in the process of working on) you know how much more difficult it is with Celiac than to simply "stop eating gluten". Then to add to the stress of barely having any options for food (unless you happen to live in an area that understands Celiac Disease), you have people who make fun because they think it is a joke, all the other foods you shouldn't eat because they will make you feel sick as well (especially dairy), and the frustration of having to spend A LOT more money than you did before you found out. 🙄 So I am here to help those of you with friends or family that have Celiac Disease, or those who just like to be educated on life, what it is REALLY like to live with Celiac Disease.

First I would like to begin by explaining what Celiac Disease actually is. Yes, it means you cannot eat gluten. That seems to be everyone's take on it for the most part. BUT WHY!?! A lot of people who do not have the disease (and even some who do) never really bother to ask why it is that not eating gluten is the treatment. This is where Celiac Disease, Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity (NCGS), and Gluten allergies differ...A gluten sensitivity or allergy is just like any other allergy. It might make you sick to your stomach, give you hives, or make you throw up, but it is going to end there. It is very rarely causes any permanent damage to your body. Celiac Disease is an Autoimmune disease. This means your body mistakenly attacks and damages its own tissue. For someone with Celiac Disease, gluten is a trigger. When the gluten makes its way through the small intestine, the persons immune system thinks it is bad and will begin to attack the walls of the intestines. This can cause serious, and permanent, damage if it the disease is not diagnosed early enough or treated properly.

With Celiac Disease, unlike NCGS or a gluten allergy, you have to be eliminate gluten completely. Most people do not realize this means not only making sure none of the ingredients in your food contain gluten, but also making sure there is no cross contamination. That means if on the food label it says may contain traces of wheat, or any other gluten containing ingredient, you should not eat it. Some people even have to eliminate gluten in other products such as body wash, hand soap and lotions. This can be more difficult than people realize, especially when they live with others who do not have to eat gluten free. Some good ways to keep from accidentally cross contaminating yourself (or accidentally being "glutened" as some Celiac's call it) are to make sure everyone coming in contact with your food (to include yourself) washes their hands thoroughly, make sure the area you are preparing and cooking on is cleaned thoroughly, and make sure anyone coming in contact with your food is aware of your disease and understands how it affects you. If you are eating out, make sure the server and the chef are aware of your dietary restrictions. Fast food is not usually a good place for someone with Celiac, however there are a few chains that are Celiac friendly. A couple of my favorites are Chick-fil-a and Burgatory. You can look up online for Celiac friendly places near you, but do not forget that Gluten Free DOES NOT mean Celiac friendly.

That all being said, I would like to give those of you who do not have Celiac Disease, and those of you who have recently been diagnosed a little look at a day in the life of someone with Celiac Disease. 

    This morning I woke up with heartburn at 9am after not sleeping well at all. My first thought was food, because I know the heartburn was from lack of food. I went down to the kitchen and popped a couple Gluten Free (also rice free as I am allergic to rice) English Muffins into my toasters (toasters I bought to separate my foods from my family's because they do not have to eat gluten free). After they had been toasted, I put a dairy free and gluten free "butter" spread on my English muffins (because dairy is something else I have to try my best to avoid due to the Celiac Disease). We have a friend helping us remodel our kitchen (to keep cost down because God knows my disease is so expensive we have to save anywhere else we can!) so I spent the morning sealing all the cabinets and drawers to avoid any drywall dust from going into them, only to realize I could not cook anything until he was finished with the kitchen. Once I finished I left for my appointment. After my appointment, my boyfriend messaged to let me know that him and his son had already eaten (they had hot dogs because they can eat whatever they want 😅) So I said I would just grab something from Chick-fil-a on my way to get my kids and then head home. It was not until my sister called to ask if I could stop by, when I was half way to Chick-fil-a, and reminded me it is SUNDAY that I realized Chick-fil-a is closed today! 😓 So there I was, on my way to meet my sister and realizing I cannot buy anything to make at home because my kitchen is not able to be used right now, and the only fast food restaurant I can eat at is closed!!! So of course, I call my mom, because she always knows the best thing for me to do in a situation like this 😀 and she says see if they have any rotisserie chicken at Walmart. After meeting with my sister I head to Walmart and search for anything that is not boring to eat for lunch. I ended up with a rotisserie chicken... By the time I got home it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and I have barely eaten, which is not good for me because my metabolism is so fast I get sick if I do not eat enough. I sat down to eat my chicken (with my fingers because I forgot I do not have access to any of the silverware right now). It was very bland and boring. When I was finished I sat down to work on my final in my online nutrition class (I am working on my Associates in Psychology) and the entire time I am sitting at my computer all I can think about is food. I am ALWAYS hungry. Upon finishing my homework assignment I went to the kitchen and grabbed a gluten free fig bar. It is now almost 7pm and we have not even figured out what we are having for dinner, but there is a good chance we will be going out to eat... which means either gluten free pizza or Denny's.😩 

     Most meals I eat are meat, vegetables and potatoes. That is not too bad, but snacks are much more difficult. There are not a lot of options where I live for Celiac friendly snacks. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes I eat eggs and bacon for breakfast, quesadillas with corn tortillas for lunch, and steak with baked potatoes and asparagus for dinner. Other days I search the store and cannot find anything I want, and everything I crave is not Celiac friendly. Even the ice cream in the stores around where I live are not Celiac friendly (yes I have actually cried about not being able to eat ice cream anymore... as well as not being able to eat wheat bread). Having Celiac Disease can be a struggle, but I do the best I can to embrace it! There are a lot of people who do not understand it though, and that can make it very difficult at times. I have had people say things like "well can't you just take a cheat day" or they make fun of me for asking that the cooks change their gloves or bringing my own food to events outside of my home. I do my best to educate people who do not understand, which is why I am providing some information for those of you who would like to learn, or need to learn for yourself and for others.

Common Misconceptions

    1. Celiac Disease is not deadly -- WRONG!! While it is not common for someone to die from the disease, if it is not diagnosed early enough, or if it is diagnosed and the person chooses to continue eating gluten, it could result in intestinal lymphomas and other cancers which can lead to death. 

    2. Eating gluten free is just a fad -- Although some people believe that eating gluten free is a good way to lose weight, it is also a dietary necessity for some people. Whether it is Celiac Disease or NCGS it is a very serious thing. Eating gluten free if you do not have to can actually be bad for your health. You should always consult a doctor before changing your diet.

    3. Celiac Disease is just an allergy to wheat -- First of all, it is not an allergy, it is a disease (as stated in the name). Also, it is not JUST wheat. Gluten is commonly derived from wheat, barely, and rye, but can be found in many things such as beer, pasta, and graham crackers.

    4. Celiac Disease only affects your gut -- Celiac Disease may affect your small intestine more than anything else, but it can affect your whole body! It can make you very sick in so many ways. A few common ailments/symptoms are acid reflux, bloating, constipation, and fatigue. 

    5. Celiac Disease is rare -- It may not seem like a big number but about 1% of the population has been diagnosed. That does not mean only those people have it, it just means only those people have been diagnosed. To show how common this is, people compare it to the fact less than 2% of americans are redheads. That is how common it actually is.

    6. Life is not worth living with Celiac Disease -- I must admit this was one I struggled with. Not eating gluten anymore can be very difficult and frustrating, but there are ways to make it work!! If you have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease, it does not mean your life is over, it just means you need to make some changes to your lifestyle.😀

Helpful Information for people with Celiac Disease

    1. Find a good probiotic to take daily. I use GNC Probiotic Solutions Immune Support. You should talk to your GI doctor and do some research before choosing the probiotic that is right for you.

    2. Make sure you are getting the right amount of vitamins and minerals. If you are not getting enough vitamins and minerals from your food intake, talk to your daughter about multivitamins. 

    3. Educate yourself on Celiac Disease. The more you know, the easier it will be to keep yourself healthy!! This is a good link with a lot of information to help you learn about Celiac Disease.

    4. Having Celiac Disease is not eating JUST gluten free, most people with Celiac Disease also need to avoid other foods such as dairy and tomato sauces. 

If you have Celiac Disease, please check out the links that have been provided throughout this post. It may be frustrating, but it is not the end of the world.

   Ok, I know this song does not have anything to do with Celiac Disease, but it does go along with the NO CROSS CONTAMINATION.... haha I Can't Touch This (gluten).

 U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

If I was you, I'd wanna be me too

When I tell people that I eat healthy, I work out, I can't eat certain things, etc...... I always get told "but your so skinny.... You don't need to do all that!" 😮

( Before I go any farther, this is a long post. If you do not want to read the whole thing, please at least read the last 2 short paragraphs. It will make a huge difference in your day!!!! 😉)

Tell me please, how many of you are as fit, healthy, and skinny as I am without having to put any effort into it?! 😂😂😂😂 When I was younger I had an extremely fast metabolism (possibly due to hyperthyroidism). I ate whatever I wanted and never exercised and stayed under 110lbs until I got pregnant with my first child. I was asked by people if I was anorexic or bulimic, was constantly being told I needed to eat a hamburger, and actually had people throw things at me!!!! I was always being made fun of and torn down by my peers.🙄

Of course, my parents and other family members told me ALL THE TIME how beautiful and valuable I was and how much they loved me and how great I was!!!! 🥰 But I was young...... I wanted friends... I wanted the other kids my age to see what my family saw..... And when they didn't, I valued their opinion more than the people who loved me.

As most of you know, I'm not like that anymore. 😂 Now, I value my opinion of myself more than anyone else's opinion! Because my opinion of me is what matters most!!!

So tell me now, how many of you value your opinion over the opinion of any other person?! 🤨 I will tell you how many of you should....... ALL OF YOU!!! It does not matter your race, gender, skin tone, mental condition, who you love, how long your or short your hair is, how you wear your make up, what kind of clothes you wear..... You get the point right? 😉

Let me tell you what else matters over the way people see you ..... The way you treat others. Yes I know 🙄 it's super cliche, but it's what's on the inside that matters, not the outside!!!! Now don't get me wrong here.... You need to feel like you are attractive, I know. Everyone wants to look in the mirror and see a beautiful face and a beautiful body, but it ONLY matters if you think you are beautiful. It does not matter what you look like on the outside. If you are kind, and you treat others with a kind heart 😍 people will see your true beauty!!!

On the other hand 💁‍♀️, how many of you look at others and find yourself judging based on their looks, before you even know the person?! If any one of you just thought to yourself " I never do that" .. think again. WE ALL DO IT!!! I am one of the least judgmental people I know, and even I catch myself sometimes looking at someone and thinking "Why would someone walk out of the house looking like that!? " ..... Notice how I said I CATCH MYSELF. Everytime I realize I am doing that I say a little apology in my head. We need to be lifting each other up!! Not bringing each other down.

So, if you stuck with me this far ( yes I know ...I talk alot 😜) I would like to tell you why I am posting this today. I have met so many young girls and boys who have body positivity issues, and no one knows about it. So many people, people of all ages, have body positivity issues. Most of these people think they are the only ones! Can you even believe that?! 😯 I mean, how many of you just thought to yourselves while reading this " I wish I thought more highly of myself"??? I know I did haha. I'm more confident now than I was before, but I'm not 100% where I want to be yet. We are not alone! There are so many people that need to be reminded that they really are beautiful!

I am not talking about our friends and family. We tell them all the time! 😏But if you were paying attention to what I said earlier, you will see where I said " I never cared what my friends and family said..... " I always thought friends and family were obligated to tell you kind things lol ... I know now, that is not true. But how many others know that?!

I am going to ask you to do something. ☺️ ( and before you ask 😉 yes, I do this and I do my best to do it EVERYDAY) When you are out and about today..at school, church, work, taking a walk in the park, working out at the gym, shopping.. wherever you go today, and you find yourself looking at people and mentally judging them ( whether it's good or bad thoughts) find something beautiful about them ....maybe they have pretty hair, cute clothes, nice jewelry, awesome shoes, beautiful eyes ..... TELL THEM!!! Do not be scared. Simply walk up with a smile and kindly say " I just have to tell you, your outfit is so cute!!! " ( I have actually told a grown man he has beautiful eyelashes 😂😂 but the smile on his face was so worth it!!! ) Not only could you be helping that person feel better about themselves, but it will make you feel better about YOURSELF! And who knows..... Maybe one day someone will do the same for you!

For those of you who read this whole post, if you know what I am talking about, and you have a hard time with body positivity, comment below. Let's talk about it 😊 Let me help you find a way to love yourself so much that you will stop caring about what others think of you. AND .. HERE IS THE BEST PART!!!!! ITS FREE!!! 

Me Too by Meghan Trainor  This song is so good to remind yourself that you are beautiful!! SING IT, DANCE TO IT, REMEMBER IT !!

 And here is a little bonus video.. some fun dance moves by the Fitness Marshall to the song Me Too that I love to do as a quick fun workout!

😍

😍

The B-I-B-L-E

I just spent over an hour in the chapel at the church praying and reading a devotional given to me by my great grandmother when I was a teenager. It was beautiful!

Anyway, while I was there and reading, I was writing some things down to remember. The funny thing is, when Barb came in to take my place in the chapel, we got to talking, and I forgot everything I had written down! While we were talking about God, prayer, kids, life, and church, she said something that sparked a reminder in my head that I had not written down. She said "I think I need to be more in the Word" ( or something to that effect)

I went through the pages I had just read and found this ( from a devotional by Beth Moore, that her friend had written) "I heard my husband say recently that the Bible is God's thoughts to us." Then in the next page she says " It is not enough to go to church. One sermon on Sunday, no matter how good it is, will not supply you with the strength you need for every day of the week."

While reading this, it reminded me that while church is important, and learning from others is important... What is most important is the Word! God's Word is the most important thing we have to teach us how to be more like Jesus! I know I have forgotten many times how important it is to read his word every day.

So I just wanted to remind all of you now, if you have not been reading the Bible, or reading your devotions, or taking your 15 min of quiet time to just be with God and hear what he has to say to you .... Make sure you find the time it's the best thing you can do for yourself today!


The B-I-B-L-E song Yes, I know this is a kids song!! But it still holds true for everyone 😊

This Is Me

Loving Yourself

     If I had been asked this question ten years ago, the answer would have been "Forever". It had never occurred to me that I needed to love myself, let alone that I should. I must admit, I have always been a little different. When I was younger, I was always very skinny, because I had a very fast metabolism. I wore make up in a way others did not. My sense of fashion was never the trend. This caused me to be bullied in school, and made fun of, but it did not make me change who I was. One thing I have always known with 100% certainty, is that I am who I am meant to be. I never wanted to be bullied or made fun of, but I was raised never to lie, so I continued doing those things even though others put me down for it. While I had (and still have) and amazing, loving family, I listened too much to what others said to, or about me. It did not matter how many times I heard from my mother that I was beautiful and smart and funny, because for every one nice thing she said about me, I heard twice as many bad things from kids at school. I believe that when someone is told the same thing about themselves so many times by multiple people, they start to believe it, especially when they care what other people think. 

     By the time I was 16, I had started believing that I was ugly, stupid, and unworthy of living or being happy. I thought I did not deserve love, and that nothing good would ever happen in my life. I got into an abusive relationship, and thought it was what I deserved. When I finally decided I wanted to get out of the relationship and thought maybe I deserved better, he made it feel impossible. He threatened my family, and my life. After a year and a half of this relationship, he went to jail, and I got the opportunity to move to California (across the country from where I was living in Pennsylvania at the time). I thought that was my chance to start over. I thought maybe now I deserved better and I could find that in California. However, when I got to California, the thoughts I had of myself were still negative, making it difficult for me to find people that would treat me the way I wanted to be treated. 

     Not long after moving there, I met a man that gave me so much more than I ever thought I deserved. He was an amazing friend, and turned out to eventually become my husband. Even with how great he treated me, I still did not believe I was worthy of it. We had two children together before getting a separation. At the time, I thought the biggest problem we had was that we disagreed on lifestyles and how to raise the children. It was not until we had been separated for many years that I finally realized..... WE were not the problem. I was the problem.

     I was feeling unloved, but not because HE was not loving me...... It was because I was not loving me! Luckily, we were able to stay very close friends, which has been great for the two of us, AND for the kids. 😊 After we split up, I went through a series of relationships before finally taking some time for myself. I have now been in a great relationship for the past two years. We have our ups and downs like any other relationship, but we always push through. I have learned over the past 10 years that you do not need the acceptance of others to be able to love yourself! So, based on my own experiences, and a little help from some others, I have put together two lists to help you learn how to love yourself!

9 Things you should STOP doing, because they are keeping you from fully loving yourself:

1. Trying to please everyone around you.

You have to bring yourself to the realization that it is improbable that you will ever be able to make everyone in your life happy, no matter how hard you try. So many people (to include myself at times) will put so much time and effort into trying to make everyone around them happy, not realizing they are wearing themselves down in the process. That is not to say that you should never try to do things to make others happy, but you have to make sure that whatever you are doing is going to be what is best for you (and your family if you have one). Some people may see it as selfish, but you can do what is best for you, and still help others! You just have to find a happy medium.

2. Metathesiophobia 

The fear of change is a real phobia, that can be a real problem! As a young adult, when things in my life did not go the way I had planned them, I panicked. I would melt down, get angry, yell, cry, and my mind would tell me that everything in the world is wrong because one small thing was not the way it was planned. I was scared of change, and it was holding me back. I am not sure where in my life I got it stuck in my head that change was bad, but losing that phobia has made me realize how great change can really be. It is still difficult, but without the irrational fear in my head, it makes change so much easier to deal with. If you really think about it, most fears are irrational. Ask yourself, what are you afraid of? Think of all of the things you are scared of, and then ask yourself how many of those things SHOULD you be afraid of?  I think Will Smith explains why most fears are so irrational in this YouTube video on fear.... If this is something you struggle with, watch this video!  Will Smith on Fear 

3. Living in the past

This is something I struggled with for a very long time. Even now I have problems with it from time to time. Every morning (or evening depending on your schedule) when you wake up, you start a new day. Your body is the same, and you have the same heart and mind, and you have all the memories from your past, but, you are starting new. Do not let each day bleed into each other. No matter what happened the day before, you can make the new day a better day! There is an old saying, "Forgive and forget," but I believe it should be "Forgive and NEVER forget!" It takes so much energy to hate someone (that includes yourself), or to be angry about a situation (especially once the situation has resolved itself or passed by). So yes.... "forgive," or move on, or work past it, but rather than forgetting it after that, use it as a learning experience. Do not ever forget the things from your past, because one day you will realize that no matter how good or bad that thing, or person, was....it helped shape you into what you are today.

4. Putting yourself down

If you are anything like me, you know what it is like to have others constantly putting you down. With the amount of people that you will come into your life and try to make you feel like you are less than what you are, do you really need one more person (yourself) putting you down and making you feel bad just for being who you are?? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Self encouragement and self motivation are very important factors in learning how to love yourself! No matter what others say, no matter how many flaws someone else may point out in you, find the positive things about yourself. Remind yourself daily that you ARE worth it, instead of telling yourself that you are not.

5. Overthinking

How often do you find yourself in this situation: Someone calls and says "Hey, I really need to talk to you about something. Can we get together soon?" So you make a plan to get together in a couple days. They did not mention what it was they wanted to talk about, and now you are sitting there wondering what it could possibly be. It starts out small, but usually a bad scenario, then you start playing the "worst case scenario game" in your head (a game from the show This Is Us),  and by the time you get to the meeting, you have come up with every worst case scenario you can think of!  You walk inside nervous thinking this person is about to tell you the worst thing you could ever hear....... And they say something like "So I just found out I am pregnant, and I want you to be the God Parent!!??" .....😲  .... 😌 you let out a huge sigh of relief, and have a great meeting. 
    But you just spent two days sick to your stomach thinking the worst, when you did not need to. Everything is going to happen the way it is meant to happen, no matter how much you think or worry about it. So the next time you are sitting around overthinking a situation, remember that no matter how much you overthink it, the result will be the same.... and wouldn't it just be so much better if you spent that time being productive, instead of thinking about something that has not even happened yet?

6. Avoiding the silver lining

For every negative thing that happens in life, there is a positive outcome. It is inevitable that bad things are going to happen. It is just part of life. How do you usually respond to negative things happening?? Do you cry? Do you yell? Do you break down, and take out your frustration on everyone else????? I used to. Sometimes, I still do... But what if instead of getting upset, and focusing on the negative thing that happened, you sit down and think about the situation thoroughly. Think about the situation from every aspect, until you find the silver lining. Sometimes, it takes time to figure out what good thing came from a specific bad situation, but even if you sit and think about all of the bad things that have happened in the past, and then remember what good came from them, it will help you remember that although times can be tough, they will always turn out for the better. You just need to find the positive side of it.

7. Stop looking to others for validation

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Think about how often you let the things other people say affect your mood, or sway your decision. Has that ever ended well for you? It is good to ask for advice sometimes, or seek out help for making decisions in certain situations, but you should not let everything that other people say affect the way you live. This is another area I have struggled with in the past. I believed most of what was said to me about myself, even though deep down I knew it was a lie. Too many times I let what others say make me feel bad about myself, and I ruined great days and great experiences by doing so. It was not until I realized that not everyone is saying things to upset me that I was able to stop letting things get to me. Sometimes the things people said to me that made me feel bad were just meant as silly jokes that I took literally. Sometimes they said things out of honesty and I could not see that it was just constructive criticism. Now, when someone says something that would have hurt my feelings or upset me in the past, I figure out why it was said, and use it to better myself. 

8. Stop waiting for "the right time"

I hear it all the time.... "I am just waiting for the right time to .....", or "It is just not the right time for me to be.....". When is the right time?? When you have more money? When you have kids? When you have a family? When you have a better job? When you have ....... the list goes on forever right?
    Have you ever read the book "If you give a mouse a cookie"? It is a children's book about a mouse that originally asks for a cookie, but once he has the cookie, he wants milk, and once he gets the milk, he wants something else, and so on and so forth until he has a list of things, but all he really wanted was the cookie. After going through the series of things he asks for, he goes back to wanting the cookie. If you are always waiting for the next best thing, and searching for something new before you ever get what you originally wanted, and make excuses for why you cannot achieve your goals, you will spend your life wanting.     If you want a cookie, just go get a cookie. 😉

9. Stop caring more about what is on the outside, than on the inside

The old saying goes "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". As true as that is, one thing most people fail to realize is that beauty is not just about what is on the outside. Real, true beauty comes from within. It does not matter what clothes you wear, how you wear your hair, or what your physical features look like. The only thing that matters when it comes to beauty, is who you are on the inside. Some of the most physically attractive people look ugly if they are not kind to people, and people who may not be as physically attractive (as per societies standards), can be the most beautiful people in the world, just because they have a positive, happy personality. It does not matter who you are, regardless of what you look like, the one thing people are going to remember most about you is your personality. 

9 Things you should start doing to help you learn to love yourself fully:

1. Meditation

Reflection is a great way to find your strengths and weaknesses. I will admit one of my biggest weaknesses is my lack of concentration, so the first time I was ever told I should meditate, I thought  "there is no way I can do that! I will lose focus before I even start!", but I tried it anyway, and it was probably one of the best things I have ever done for myself. This is a great way to get a few minutes of quiet time in. It helps relax your mind and your body making you less anxious and stressed out. Some people are able to do this in a quiet place, in complete silence. I on the other hand, highly dislike complete silence! So I started a playlist on YouTube of some nice relaxing meditation videos. Some of them are videos that teach you how to meditate, some are quiet with a soft voice telling you where to go in your head, and some are just quiet music. If you would like to try it out, I suggest starting here. 

2. Me time

This one is very important. A lot of people do not realize how important it is to take some time to yourself! The amount of time, and how often, depends on how busy and hectic your life is. It can be as little as taking five minutes in the morning before the rest of the household gets up to sit and read a devotional, or as much as taking a weekend away to go exploring in a new city by yourself without any communications with the "real world". Sometimes finding the best way to spend your me time, or how often you should be doing this can be difficult, but you can always start small and work your way up until you find what works best for you. Most days I like to wake up before anyone else in the house and listen to music and have my breakfast alone. That may be the only quiet time I get during the day, but it starts my day out just right and ensures that I will start my day with a positive attitude.

3. Realize that NO ONE is perfect

Everyone has flaws. It is just part of being human. Material things are also flawed, even if they seem "perfect". So why is the word perfect even a word?? Well, while no one can be completely flawless, they can still be exactly the way they want to be, or, exactly the way someone else likes them. When someone says to you "You are perfect, just the way you are" they are not saying that you are flawless, they are saying that they love you for who you are, and they do not want you to change. No, you are not perfect, or completely flawless, but you are the best version of yourself. You do not have to stop there though. 😊 As I said, you are still not perfect. 

I used to ask the question, "If practice makes perfect, but there is no such thing as perfect, then why practice?" It took me a long time to come up with an answer to that one, but I think I finally found it! Although you can never reach actual perfection, you can ALWAYS be better. Striving for "perfection" will continue to bring you to even better versions of yourself, and it will keep you from going backwards in your life. 

4. Forgive yourself (but do not forget)

We all make mistakes sometimes. As I said above, no one is perfect. Sometimes you are going to do things that you should not do, you are going to hurt others (whether it is on purpose or by accident), you are going to do things that cause you to have other problems, and you are going to make mistakes. Yes, it sucks that making mistakes in real life is not like on paper, or on a computer. You cannot just erase it, or hit the undo button. You have just deal with it and move on. Some mistakes may be worse than others, but no matter how big or small the mistake is, you cannot hold on to it forever.

 Have you ever heard someone say "Forgive and forget"? Well, that is only half right. Forgiveness is important. Holding onto it can hurt you mentally and emotionally. It can put hatred in your heart, and make turn away from things you otherwise may not have turned away from. However, you should never forget! Whether you are forgiving yourself, or forgiving others, you should never forget what you are forgiving. Mistakes are the best way to learn, helping you get to the best version of yourself. You learn from them, and move on. 

5. Figure out who you are on your own

When was the last time someone asked "Who are you?". Have you ever really thought about that question, but in a sense of more than just your name? Most of us when asked who we are will respond with our name, and sometimes a title, such as a doctor, lawyer, or teacher. Is that really who you are though?? Look deep inside of you, and really think about WHO you really are. You may even find that looking at who you are makes you realize that you are not who you are supposed to be. If that is the case, start trying to figure out who you want to be, so you can work toward that!

6. Feel good about what is on the outside

It sounds a little contradicting of what I said in the list above, I know, but hear me out. How do you feel about your outside appearance? Do not ask someone else what they think, or look up online what society thinks..... Go take a look in the mirror (after you finishing reading this post of course 😉) and think about how YOU feel about your own outward appearance. Do you like the way you look? If so, GREAT! You are already ahead of the game. If you like the way you look without anyone else's opinion making you feel different, then you are already on the right track. However, if you look at yourself and think, "I wish my hair was different" or "I should really do something different with my makeup", then you need to make the decision to do what you need to do to like what you look like. Beauty comes from within, and no matter what you think about yourself, others will see it differently, but if you like the way you look on the outside, you will be much more confident and that will help others see you in a completely different light.

7. Use other's negativity against them

When someone tries to tell you that you are something you know you are not, instead of letting it get to you and upset you, push back. Show yourself that you are better than that. Do not do it to prove them wrong, do it to prove yourself right. Do not ever let anyone else have the satisfaction of thinking they were the reason you did something. If you can do it, and you can, then you had it in you from the beginning. Sometimes you just need a little push, and what better way to get that push than to make the decision to better yourself for the sake of trying to be the best version of you!

8. Keep positive company

Have you ever been in a situation where you are in a room full of people and everyone seems like they are being negative? They are all in a bad mood, or upset, or just generally not positive people. It makes you feel negative right? It puts you in a bad mood and makes you feel bad when there is nothing wrong. So why not do the opposite? Surround yourself with positivity, and you will feel positive. Other ways to stay positive without company are writing sticky notes with motivational quotes, or kind words for yourself and placing them around the house or in the car, to see as you go about your day to remind yourself that you are a good person. You can also start a thankfulness journal. Find a journal, and every morning before starting your day, write down all the things you are thankful for. This will help remind you of all the things you have that others may not, and be thankful that you are alive to experience these things. Also remember that happiness is not JUST a feeling, it is a choice. Choose Happy.

9. Be proud of you

You know that feeling you get in your heart when someone tells you they are proud of you? You can have that feeling any time you want! You just have to remember that you are doing the best you can, and be proud that you got out of bed this morning and chose to live! Even if you do nothing else, be proud of yourself for that. Do not wait for someone else to be proud of you, you can do that all on your own!

The first time someone asked me who I really am, not just my name, but the real me, I spent a decent amount of time thinking on it. This is what I came up with....

     I am brave, strong, independent, silly, funny, smart, proud... I am a mother, a student, a daughter, a friend, a significant other.... 

  I care too much, I love too much, and I give too much.... BUT, This is me.

 I think Keala Settle says it best in her song This Is Me when she say 

     "Look out cause here I come, And I'm marching on to the beat I drum.....

     I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be....

         THIS IS ME!"

Stop following the beat of everyone else's drum... and start marching to the beat of your own!

So I'll leave you with these few questions, and hopefully now you can truly answer them the way it should be answered, and use the answers to find a way to fully love yourself...... Who are you? Where do you rank in your list of loved ones? If you are not number one on your list, what do you need to do to get there?.... 

Keala Settle - This Is Me

One Step at a Time

Health and Wellness

     Anyone who has ever been sick, or had a broken bone, or had any type of ailment knows what it means to be unhealthy. What most people do not realize is that most of us are unhealthy, even when we do not realize it! I have come to find that the majority of people will come to the conclusion that someone is healthy based on how they look, but some of the healthiest people may look ordinary, and some of the unhealthiest people may look healthy. 

     When I was younger I was very skinny, but I was sick all the time. I had ear infections, sinus infections, and at one point rheumatoid arthritis in both my legs ( which I grew out of over time THANK GOD). As I aged, it seemed like I was getting healthier. My illnesses were not nearly as often, or as bad, as when I was a child, and I was still very skinny all the time, no matter what I ate or the lack of exercise I had. At age 23, I had 2 children, had lost so much weight since my second child had been born (2 years prior) that I was under the weight I started before my first, and was having a difficult time gaining weight. I decided it was time to do something!!!! So I got a gym membership and asked for some advice from friends and family on what types of food could help me. I got some great work out and food advice and began my journey. 😊 

     Within one month, I gained thirty pounds! I began to feel fatigued, lazy, and unmotivated. I wanted so badly to get in shape now that I had the weight, but I could not stay awake long enough to get myself to the gym once the kids went to school. I knew something was wrong. After seeing a doctor I found that I had hypothyroidism. They believe I most likely had a hyperthyroid issue growing up causing the lack of weight gain, and my diet and exercise change caused my thyroid to begin working in reverse. 

     I have always looked very healthy. I have had many people say things to me such as "What do you need the gym for? You are so skinny," or "You just need to eat more meat". So, because I looked healthy, everyone assumed I must not need to work out or eat healthy. I cannot say it enough... It takes a lot more than looking healthy, to be healthy.

Everyone's Healthy Diet is Different

     

     I recently started going to a Health and Wellness Center. During my first session with the doctor, I explained to her that I eat very healthy. "I do not eat things that are made with a lot of sugar, I like grains, I love rice, I eat pasta, and I eat a lot of red meat. I recently became a lover of milk, which worked out great because I have a Vitamin D deficiency, and I eat a lot of yogurt because Probiotics are great for you! I try to work out as often as possible and I drink a lot of water and tea, and try to avoid soda because caffeine gives me anxiety. I am doing everything I can to be healthy, but I had developed a cough, that I have now had for almost a year! " 

     One of the very first things Dr. Sara said to me was "What is healthy for others, may not be healthy for you." It was at that moment I realized, I was eating healthy for everyone else!!! I was taking advice from friends, family, Pinterest, Internet Articles, and anyone else I could find to give me "HEALTHY"recipes and ideas. It never occurred to me that these "healthy" foods, may not be healthy for me!!! Turns out, I have a sensitivity to rice. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SIDE DISHES!!!! I was not happy about it, but I said "I can stop eating rice TODAY!". ......... Do you know how many foods have some kind of rice product in them?!?!??!!  A LOT! It has definitely not been easy, but I have managed to eliminate every rice product from every meal I eat. It has only been two weeks, but I can already feel a difference. Another food she told me to avoid was dairy. That's right! I just started loving the taste of milk and I needed that vitamin D, and she said dairy was a factor in this cough I have, because it is caused by acid reflux and dairy makes that worse. So I also had to buy dairy free milk and yogurt. 

      Over the course of the past few weeks I have come up with some pretty creative recipes and ideas for meals that are healthy, for ME. Some of them are not the best tasting, but they are not horrible either. My kids like some of them, mostly the fruity desserts.😉

Is It Possibly to Eat Healthy on a Budget???

     One of the biggest problems I am finding with my new healthy lifestyle, is that eating healthy foods can be VERY expensive. I am sure most of you have noticed that you can get ten unhealthy items from the dollar menu at Mcdonalds, for the same as it would cost for one healthy sub from subway. It also depends on what food is healthy for YOU. As I said above, I had to stop eating anything with rice products. So, I took the kids to Giant Eagle (our local grocery store) to get some breakfast foods for the week. I do not force my children to eat as healthy as I do, so my daughter bought a box of fruit loops with mini marshmellows (around $3, for a large box), and my son bought a box of cookies 'n creme poptarts (16 count for $4). I usually eat oatmeal for breakfast but I was wanting something a little easier for the week as we have a hectic week ahead. Turns out, most cereals have rice product in them. Who knew??? After searching through the ingredients of every box of what appeared to be some type of healthy cereal, I came to a box called "Ezekial 4:9 sprouted grains cereal", and to my surprise there were absolutely NO rice products!!! To sweeten the pot a little, there was also NO added sugar!!!! I thought I had hit the jackpot....... That was, until I looked at the size of the box, and the price. This box of, healthy for ME, cereal, was a quarter of the size of a normal box of cereal, and it was $8!!!! 😂 I was far from surprised, but unhappy about the outcome nonetheless. 

     So of course, as soon as I got home I got online and started searching the web for anyway to help me! Pinterest is my biggest helper for these thing!!! If you would like to take a look at what I found, you can follow me on Pinterest and check out my Clean Eating Board HERE👇

Mandi's Clean Eating Board

     If you do not have Pinterest, I suggest you sign up!! It is the best place to find great ideas about ANYTHING!!!!! In the mean time, according to an article on MoneyCrashers.com, some great healthy foods that you can buy on a budget are fruits, vegetables, whole grains, proteins, popcorn, and dairy products. These things all together can make a great meal! However, it is always best to make sure you do not have any allergies or food intolerance's before buying any of these foods.

     The best way to ensure you are eating healthy FOR YOU, is to make most of your meals at home. It may seem a little more expensive at the beginning, but in the long run you will save a ton of money! The nice thing about making food at home is that you can not only know for sure everything you are putting into your body, but you can take unhealthy meals that you love, and make them healthy. 

     My daughter LOVES biscuits and gravy. So when she asked me to make it for dinner one night, I thought not being able to eat dairy was going to make this very difficult and expensive. Boy was I WRONG! I will admit it was a little more time consuming than I had thought it would be, but we had a great dinner. I found a great recipe for biscuits, sausage gravy, and home fries, and I just replaced all of the dairy products with non-dairy substitutes, all of which I found on Pinterest! I took an already seemingly healthy meal, and changed it to be healthy for me. There are so many foods that people think they cannot have because of an allergy to an ingredient, but there are substitutes for so many ingredients that you could find a healthy way to make just about any food you want, and make it healthy FOR YOU. 

Food is Medicine

     Dr. Cullyn, from the Health and Wellness Center, said something that really stuck with me the first time I met him. When he first said it I thought "well that is odd", but the more I thought about it, and the more he explained everything to us, the more it made sense. He said "If everyone ate healthy foods all the time, and stopped eating processed and GMO food, they would never get sick." So think about this......

     How often do you go to the doctor because you have a cold, the flu, strep throat, a cough, or some other symptom? When you go to the doctor because your sick, they usually do whatever test needs done to determine what is wrong, and then they prescribe you a medicine, and that medicine usually makes you better after you finish taking it, Right???? However, when was the last time your doctor told you what was wrong..... and then..... told you WHY it was wrong???? Never? ..... Yeah, me too. Until now.......

      You would never think to relate a cold or flu symptom to something you ate, but our bodies do not get sick without reason. Unnatural foods contain unnatural products that our bodies do not know how to process. Sometimes our bodies even have a tendency of rejecting foods that ARE natural ( like rice hahaha....). So here is how it works, when you eat something, your body breaks it down and sends each nutrient or chemical to where it needs to be. If it cannot be sent to where it is supposed to be, it goes to the next best place.... some other organ.   In my case, the rice was not being processed into waist like it was supposed to be, so it was going to the next best organ to get it out of my body.... my lungs.... causing an annoying cough that felt like it would NEVER go away!!! Once we found out what was causing the problem, we were able to find a natural way to fix the problem. After almost a year of doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, all doing trial and error, giving me different medicines for different diagnosis', I finally found someone who could just tell me where my problem stems from, and how to fix it ... NATURALLY!  What a relief! So the next time you decide to go out to eat, or even make a meal at home, pay attention to what you are eating.

Health and Wellness Centers

     There is so much more to learn about being healthy!!!! Tips and tricks on how to find out what the best exercise is for you (and there is one... 💪everyone needs fitness!!! Even the healthy people!). What foods you should or should not eat. What chemicals are in the foods you are currently eating.....

      The best way to find out what is best for you is to talk to someone who knows how to help you find out. Not many people believe in Health and Wellness Doctors, but if you want to be healthy, and you would like to do it in a natural way, they may be your best bet! We found a health and wellness center near me by searching the internet. I called a few different places and spoke with the doctors at each one, and decided which one I thought would be best for me. There are also health and wellness coaches, online or in person, that can help you outside of a health and wellness center. The best part of it all, is that they just want to help you be your best! They are probably the only doctors you will ever meet that will help you never have to come back after you finish your course!

One Step at a Time - Jordin Sparks

I'll be there for you

What is friendship? What does it mean to be a friend? A real friend is someone you can always count on. They will never walk away, no matter how hard things get. They will always be there when you need them, even when they have their own problems. They will love you unconditionally, and without judgment.

If someone walks out of your life, they were not a real friend, and just because you have known someone for a long time does not mean they are your friend. Friendship is not about how long you have known someone, but how they treat you. In an article titled "7 Traits of True Friendship" on the psychology today website, they explain what they believe to be 7 important traits of a TRUE friendship. These 7 traits are empathy, selflessness, trustworthiness, shared interest, different perspectives and backgrounds, humor, and team players. While these are not the only traits that would imply someone is a true friend, they are important. 

I'll be there for you-The Rembrandts

I Will See You Again

     At age seven, I went to my first funeral.  I do not remember the date, or the exact location, but I do remember I loved my Uncle Ed very much, and I hated watching him lay in bed for so long, living out his last days watching the world around him without being able to participate.  I learned the sad horrible truth about cancer the day he died.  At such a young age, it was hard to fully understand what was happening. I do not remember if I went up to the coffin to see him one last time before he was buried, but what I do remember is sitting in chairs while people talked about my Great uncle.  I cannot remember exactly what was said, but I do remember my cousin's beautiful voice as she sang "Psalm 23".  I fell in love with the song.  I am sure between age seven and age fifteen there were other deaths, but I do not remember them all.  January 5, 2002, the day of my fifteenth birthday, I was told that a friend of mine had passed away.  I never told him I loved him.  I never said goodbye.  To be honest, I was not always very kind to him.  I was heartbroken.  Exactly one year later, my grandpap passed away.  I was a day from my sweet sixteen.  Everyone told me that he was going to be leaving us soon, and that I needed to go to the hospital to save my goodbyes.  At some point, I had overheard someone say, "He is just waiting to say goodbye to everyone before he goes."  In my head, if I did not say goodbye, he would not leave.  Somewhere deep down, I knew that was not true, but I was not ready to say goodbye forever to someone I loved so very much.  The night before my birthday I finally agreed to go.  As I walked into the hospital room I realized this was it.  This was the last time I would ever see my grandfather.  The very next morning, we got the call that he was gone.  At his funeral, the 23rd Psalm was recited.  This bible story had such a significant meaning in my life after this.  Since then, I have lost many family and friends.  My great grandmother passed away when my son was six and my daughter was seven.  They had become very close to her and it was a very difficult time for all of us.  I hated that like me, my children had lost someone they loved at such a young age.  This made it even more difficult for me, because although I knew what it was like to lose someone I love, I did not know what it was like to try to explain to a child that they will never see someone they cared so deeply for again.  We lose people everyday for many different reasons.  Sometimes it is from old age, or an accident; and other times, sadly, it is that they take their own lives.  It is always a difficult thing to deal with, and although you would think with time it would get easier, it does not.  If anything, it gets much harder.  However, losing someone does not mean you have to lose yourself.  There are many, healthy ways to cope with the loss of a loved one. 
     Do not be afraid to show your emotions. Everyone has emotions.  We do not always know how to process them, or how to let them out, but they are always there.  Losing a loved one is a very sad thing, no matter the reason for the death.  I lost a friend a year ago, who I had some mutual friends with.  One friend in particular was much closer with him than anyone knew.  His death hurt her in a way that not even I could fully comprehend.  She had a very difficult time dealing with it, and although I tried my hardest to be there for her, nothing could ever take away the pain she was feeling.  She worked as a server at a local restaurant where our friend was a regular, and had made friends with a lot of the other regulars and staff.  A few days after his death, she called me upset that her boss had told her she "had no right to be upset about his death," because she had not known him as long as her boss and some of the other staff.  This, of course, upset her even more.  I was livid at this statement.  In any situation, if you lose someone you love, whether you knew them for a day or fifty years, you always have a right to be sad when you lose someone.  When celebrities pass away, their fans are sad.  Not every fan of that celebrity knew them personally, but it is a sad thing when someone passes.  Do not ever let anyone tell you that you are not allowed to show your emotions in a time of mourning.
     Do not push friends and family away.  Just because you lost someone you care about, does not mean that you have lost everyone that cares about you.  When you lose someone, the people who care about you want to be there for you.  Sometimes it may seem overbearing and hard to deal with, but do not make them feel like you do not need them, because even if at the time you do not think you do, at some point you will.  If you are not ready to see anyone, let them know that when you are ready, you will tell them.  Be careful how you speak to others during your mourning time.  Just because you have lost someone and are hurting, does not mean that other people lives and emotions should no longer matter.  No one can know exactly how you are feeling, but they can still help you through the tough time if you let them.  If someone wants to be there for you, let them.  Last year when I found out that my friend had passed away, I had two friends at my house visiting.  I was so scared to talk to them about it because I did not want to hear the, "I know how you feel," or the, "I am so sorry. Are you okay?"  It did not take me long to realize I needed these friends to be there for me.  Having my friends there to hold my hand and remind me that I would pull through helped me so much more than I thought it ever could.  It definitely took time, but I felt so much better knowing that even thought I had lost someone I cared about, I still had so many people that cared about me. 
     Do not turn to a crutch.  When people lose someone they love, a lot of times they will turn to something they shouldn't to aid them in healing their heart.  Things such as drugs and alcohol are not a good idea in such a hard time.  You may think, "If I can just get drunk enough," or, "If I can just get high enough," that will fix it.  Putting yourself in an altered state of mind will not bring your loved one back.  It will not make the pain in your heart go away.  What it will do is numb you for a short amount of time so you forget that you are in pain, but when you sober, the pain will still be there, and until you deal with it properly, it will never go away.  If you are thinking that is the only way to go, call someone.  Get ahold of a friend and ask them to come play some board games or take a walk.  Find something to take your mind off of it until you are ready to deal with it, without altering your mind with substances that could land you in an even worse place.
     Find a hobby.  Everyone has some kind of talent, we just do not always know what it is.  Find something you love to do and do it.  You do not even have to be good at it.  I love to sing and dance.  When I am feeling down because I have lost someone, or I am thinking about someone I lost and need to get out of my head, I blast my music and sing along while I dance through the house.  (A good song in this situation for singing is "I Will See You Again" by Carrie Underwood)  It may sound, and sometimes even look, a little silly, but it puts a smile in my heart and makes me feel so much better.  This is another place that letting others in can be helpful.  If you do not already have a hobby, ask a friend to help you find something you may enjoy.  This does not have to be just part of the mourning process either.  If you truly enjoy it, continue to do it even after you are feeling better to keep your spirits up.
     Celebrate Life.  It can be difficult to remember all of the good when such a horrible thing has happened, but it is better to remember your loved ones life and the happy times you had than it is to mourn the fact that they are no longer here.  When you think about them, think about all of the good they brought to the world.  How did you meet?  What kind of things did you enjoy together?  What was it about them that made you care for them so deeply?  When I think about the loved ones I have lost, it can be sad because I know I will never see them again, but when I think of them I remember laughing about that silly inside joke we had that no one understood.  I remember the beautiful tea parties I had with my great grandmother.  I remember the party I took Jesse to that he laughed and told everyone the story about how I had a friend drag him from the car to the house because he was not awake enough to get out of the car on his own.  I remember Jake coming to my house to make check on me and see if I was feeling any better when I had a cold.  I remember my Grandpa Jim sitting in his chair with his little puppy laughing with us about all the silly things we did when we were younger.  I remember that even though they are no longer here, I am; and I still have so much to live for.  I have so many more memories to make with the people in my life who love me, so that one day when I too pass away, they will remember that I always remembered the good times and I do not want them to be sad that I am gone, but to remember the good times we had, and be happy that I lived a happy life.
     Talk to someone.  When you are emotional, it is not always easy to get your words out.  Keeping your emotions bottled up when you are trying to heal your heart can become toxic.  If you feel comfortable talking to a family member or a friend, call someone and tell them how you are feeling.  If you need to talk to someone that you are not as close to, consider calling a therapist and setting up an appointment, or find a celebrate recovery in your area ("celebrate recovery is a Christ-based approach to recovery that was a response to the twelve step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous." It is for people who need to heal their hearts from many things, as opposed to just addiction.)  There are special counselors that you can talk to if you, and websites that can help connect you with someone who can help with these kind of things. 
     Be patient.  Healing your heart, especially from such an inconsolable thing, can take a lot of time.  Just as everyone heals differently, the healing time can differ.  It may seem like you will never heal from the pain and the heart ache, but you will in time.  You will never forget your loved one, but the pain will subdue with time and you will be able to move on.  The key to being patient, is to find one or more of the coping ideas listed above that work for you.  Keep yourself busy enough to remember you still have a life to live, but not so busy that you forget you still have healing to be done. 
    
     Life is not always fair, and it is certainly not always easy, but when you feel like giving up, start naming all of the reasons you have to continue living and be happy.  Always remember that your life does not end just because you lose someone you love.

I will see you again-Carrie Underwood